Its over already so please please please leave me alone, I really had enough of all this conversation and meet up its really up to my neck and I can't take it any more. Its not I don't want to contact you, its not I don't want to meet you but how can I? How can I treat you as a friend when you don't? Do you think that if I want to leave you I cannot? So please stop it, from today onward I don't want to accept any more nonsense and also is not I wanted to hurt you but you leave me with no choice.

Always tot tat life should be tis way but now I'm told another way which make me really confuse. All I wanna b is to be the most law by law person but yet situation tell me tat life is nt like tis and I need to fight for stuff tat suppose to belong to me but yet again I dunno wat to do cause kindness had ask me to go wif the 'just listen and do since I dun mind' but others just tell tat I should fight to get sth gd. 

I always tot tat not fighting and just obeying is what to do but it isn't so cause I still need to have my right but how can I fight when I'm nt like tat. I'm really confuse if I should be or not but wat can I do? Change? If change how? I dun even have the direction and guide? I'm nt brave nor smart. Really nt but I just dun wan to admin tat I'm nt tat gd as wat ppl say and think :(

How can I find the answer I wan? Nobody noes ba :(

wow, so so sian so tired but so wasted:( felt like i wasted my stay out course time cause have been home so regularly but i love it at home too.

Hi bloggie:) Long time no see:) anw i just wanna say gd morning and have a gd day everyone:)

Have left with 1 hour before the promise sleep time…

It’s been long since I last blog but time is just running and I can’t afford to stop and put down my thoughts here. Tonight I decided to change the look of my blog again and type 1 post because this is something that I wanted to complete.

There seems to have lots of ups and downs at this period of time but I feel so different even thou I feel tired but still after all it is something that I will be willing to do it. I guess I’ve change, I wonder if it’s better but I know that I’m still in the process of adapting to the changes make.

Why is decision forever so difficult to be made? Why am I always so indecisive, especially in the important things that affect not only me? Something I really hate the ‘me’ that screw everything up when I can actually make it better. But that’s not the point so I guess I should not say so much about it.

Last 2 weekend before I’m flying off to US for 3 weeks on 6^th Nov 2010. Time is really running out but I guess when I come back from US I will still be able to do it. I pray hard that things will not change that much after the 3 week especially everybody safety.

Tomorrow I’ll be seeing Perly in the morning, hopeful the whole process won’t take too long so I have time to prepare whatever I need for this wonderful weekend that I going to spend with my dear. Planning a couple trip and going on a special event (night safari – Halloween), the night will be great and I believe is not the hours together that counts.

I know I’ve hurt you really a lot for the past few weeks and I really want to apologize for saying words that I never think before saying out during an unhappy moment. You had been so good to me that I really don’t know what I can do to repaid you (I know this is not something that should be repaid but still I feel so love till I’m guilty). It’s going 4 month for us and I hope this past month had been fruitful for both of us to understanding the shortcomings and the characteristics of each other. Thanks for enduring the willful, nasty and stubborn side of me. I look forward for a wonderful 30^th to 31^st and till than I wish we will be lovely just the way we are : )

Finally after so long I decided to start update again but I guess this is not gg to last long as life as a solider is actually super busy especially when you are on course.

2 more weeks and I will be going to artillery unit and I’m really excited to start the course there even though everybody that heard about my unit will give a ‘slack’ expression. I would love to engage in my specify weapon and of course to leave hell that was given during foundation term not by the training but otherwise.

Now I feel that I’m really lucky to have you going through happiness and unhappiness and I do hope that things will not change much even if we are not at the same training ground anymore. You are a capable person because I believe what my senses tell me. We will both work things out to the best of our ability no matter where we go

Private time now is really as little as you can’t imagine, I miss schooling life no matter if its secondary or poly. I have tight training and schedule too but at least once in a while I have a period of free time for myself. Maybe I’m still not able to adapt to working life and I hope I will learn to ration my time soon.

Last but not least I wanna say I miss ALPS and AR, all my adventure stuff seems to be getting hidden and not to be found soon. I want to conquer more mountains, experience more races and gain more skills and knowledge but for now I believe all this are hard to achieve. So I shall use what I always say now, we’ll see we’ll see.

Okay finally decided to update sth more especially about the last weekend and today.

Friday nite:

Slept at 1am plus with a feeling that tml I have nth on and even if I have things on it would not be a race as the FEEL is not there at all. It’s really weird as this is my starting race after so many months but I just don’t have the feel for the race. Maybe because this race is more of amazing then adventure like what they mention during the briefing ba…

Saturday:

Early morning 6am plus started walking toward kai house with very quiet surrounding and music playing from the mp3, this kind of feeling is very good as those music are just so nice and making me wanted to sing aloud (but of course I didn’t). I guess the only bad thing that I don’t like was the little sore throat that I had since yest nite and it’s all because of Wei Qiang : )

Was so happy to see the AR people and get to race with them again as I now really feel that I have little bonding… and something that upset me is that ALSON QUA actually say that I become fairer when he first saw me, didn’t I just go tanning? OMG what happen to my tanning: (

Start the race but I lazy to type what happen so maybe I will type more in camp ba……

After that went over to Stan house to eat and chat it’s really wonderful to see the AR people and laugh out loud. I hope next stage of Stan life will be good and I believe it will be : ) next week will be more ba : )

Monday:

Today is really bad and bad and bad all the little bad things that since to be so little but is so bad to me and yet I get not encouragement or maybe encouragement in a bad way : (

First thing in the morning I woke up with a little heavy head then I got to carry a big bag with full protection gear inside to take bus.

When in camp and prepare to change but realize that my singlet is not in my cupboard and so I have to change back to No 4 and rush down to track for 1^st parade with all the staring again.

Next was swimming without running and with all the ache and some unknown knee pain.

After swim follow by the ‘how to fold also cannot fold well uniform shelve’ and the walk a bit then had a burst blister boots.

After all settle went back to office and head is still heavy and feeling very tired but in office everything was well except that the person beside doesn’t seem very happy and my senses are feeling the blister pain : (

Lastly was of course the rain the make me drench from 5plus to 6plus (when I reach home)

So I would say what a day with my uniform, hope everything will be better each day till BMT : (

My life is going through a major change currently and I'm still getting use to it but I do hope this career will not just be like this and I believe I'm at the right track where I make the right decision 3 years ago. Just had some random thoughts when I'm in camp sitting in the office and staring at the cellings for hours and hours.

BUT this kind of life will end soon as I'm super HAPPY to recieve the news that my BMT could be brought forward by four month. I guess that is really a good news for me but of course certein things will have to be compromise when things happen so sudden.

Life have been good and bad bad bad... I'm good cause I have darling and family and its bad bad is because its bad which I dun wish to mention here about how disappointed I'm wif you and maybe you.

So lazy to continue typing so I'm going off and hopefully more photos will be uploaded ba : )

Wow, just nice when I was thinking of blogging and really am starting to blog it was exactly 1 month from my last post…

Lives for the past 3 month are both wonderful and not so wonderful… shall not talk so much about my career as I guess it was quite a secret place although what I doing inside is nothing much of a secret…

Luckily my life is still filled with colour with my family and friends… every book out I can say I’m well accompany by (esp) darling… first two week was all spend with my darling an d its all good experience and fulfilling quite a number of things we wanted to do…

Of course not forgetting my buffet and majong weekend with family which make the babes goes crazy and abnormal behavior… but of course the spending is not a joke…haha

Okay then I shall end off here without all the naggy long essay… shall try to upload photo next time provided I’m not lazy…haha

I shall go prepare for the long awaiting 2 person BBQ at Fang house area… I believe it will be another good Sunday and filling day…haha

Yesterday was really hard but I guess it was all because of me as after a whole day of sitting down in front of my laptop but still I have to rush my report. It was really, nerver mind I guess I shouldn’t talk too much here as blog is not a good place to spilt everything out.

Today had quite a good day as firstly I started watching ‘Gong Xin Ji’ the Hong Kong drama that mum recommended till 5am plus.

Went out with James today for a movie name ‘Hot Summer Days’ and a dinner at Hereen downstairs Japanese canteen, and I guess all this comes because of caramel waffle biscuit. Nice day out I would say cause good accompany with good entertainment and food plus place.

Currently still watching the HK drama but after this I will go sleep as tomorrow will be the last day of CNY and what I can say is good luck and jia you.

Good night Jess and all : )

Met up with Naren and Huixian yesterday night and I think it was a happy session as they both will not fail to make me laugh and Naren never fail to bully me. But of course I have my protector Huixian there, is weird as I’m always the protector of others. : )

Today is the last day for IIP report so I have to rush it out like soon, please give me the strength to chiong finish and I can be free. Shall go and 加油加油加油加油 first then maybe blog more : (

Dun understand if it is me 不自量力 or 为何喜欢我的人都很专一. What capability I have to do it? I also don’t know, but I only wish that I can maintain and stop the evil move. Please stay strong with me even though I know you are not.

Reach home after a dinner with whole family at Holiday Inn, had some unpleasant moment but I guess overall was still great. I guess they wouldn’t want to be spoilt so badly after doing some compensation so I’m not mentioning what had happen.

Legs were aching after some shopping but I kept quiet because of ‘I don’t know’ and I seriously don’t know why, maybe it’s just some forms of acting strong but. Was looking feminine today but after a full meal it seems to be uncomfortable rather than pretty but I know this has to go on.

Saw on the Youth Olympic variety show just now on Ch U, it was about TKD and it make me misses TKD even more. I remember when I was still in colour belt it feels good to go down at least once a week to train and after 1 month plus will be grading. Before and during grading I will surely be scare to death and after grading I will sure emo on bus and thinks that I’m going to fail but every time I also passed. Now looking back I really miss that time and I really hope I can learn from the beginning again as I have forgotten a lot a lot.

Just now went to look at RP mail and saw the tag team climbing competition that I wanted to join but no partners so I guess maybe I will just go down and see ba. Haiz looking back in RP I really have very little friends that I’m close to but what to do, I’m already half a body out of the school and so this is it lor. I’m still hoping to find a partner that I’m happy to be with but I guess its hard cause I always request a lot which I don’t even knows.

Finally started on my report but it dies after awhile so I guess I need to buck up, what to do? LL and do it lor. : (

Lastly about today is about the AR gang going overseas, I will really miss them esp a few like my dear and etc. I really hope I can be one of them but I guess I can’t and it’s sure a pity to be not because it’s not here and there and it will never be. I wish them all the best in the race and more importantly is be careful not to get any injuries and do enjoy and take lots of photos when you all are out there. Will be so jealous of the photos when you all upload it – Loves Jess : )

I have been trying hard to be who I’m but I’m always hungry for who I wanted to be. It’s always like this and I wonder if ever it can be control. I’m too weak for this but yet I’m craving for it. I know I need and I know I can but in fact it might be cannot because of defeat. I ‘m not who you know but who you don’t know. I’m not someone in actual but someone in disguise. I’m smart and I’m a fool. What I really am is what I really don’t know.

(just some random thoughts)

Yest played majong when I woke up and before I went to bed, more than half the day was spend playing. OMG I feel so sinful and don’t really like this feeling as I just spend more than half of my useful time on majong. Or maybe it is the people that I’m playing with? When playing with SKPS people I don’t really feel wasted but is it really people or the time spend, blur again.

Can’t really figure out my feelings now a day, does getting nearer to 21st make me think more or do I really know myself in the beginning? Was chatting with Daniel yest night in Chinese words (weird), I guess is always good to have such a nice friend and I’m always lucky to find some supporting person like him. But friends comes and goes especially guys (for some you know why reason). Haiz

In the morning woke up at 11am (one day without running again) when the SingTel guy called and said that he is coming. He said he was at Hougang and I thought he won’t reach so fast so was still reading sms on bed. Get out of bed and went to wash up and here he came when I just started. Quickly rush everything and went out to ask him question and see what he is doing.

He fix in the new modem and etc, after around 40min and he is done, serve a drink and off he goes. I really hope this technician will solve our problem with the irritating wireless that keeps DC-ing us from the net.

Currently uploading CNY photos to FB, blogging and surfing the net for information (wow multi-tasking). CNY photos were great with Da Jie and Er Jie camera and with their help I look pretty with my face make up (I guess) although I hate getting scolded and wasting their time but still they helped so million thanks to them (beloved sisters).

IIP report to be handed up in less than four days and I haven even started, so dead but so lazy. I guess it’s time to buck up and like what uncle Dan said, pia for the last phrases of RP : )

Need to do lots of things so I shall end off first… see ya @_@

Another day has past with lots of preparing and cards game.

From morning around 0900hrs plus I woke up and start packing and cleaning up the house to preparing and cooking the food till 1200hrs plus where people suppose to start coming my house but nope.

So the first part of the game started internal for my family and the kids from next door and continues till 1400hrs plus then people start coming and more people joining in the game.

It was till 1800plus when my first and only friends out of many that I invited came. But sadly I cause him to lose money too. But I guess he had fun with my mum and sister without me.

Everyone left my house at around 2300hrs plus to go home and be in time to pray to the ‘Tian’. And yes after all left what we need to do is another tiring task. Clearing up was not tough because there are da jie and mum around too. Very quickly here I came online.

Currently watching the last episode of Xia Yi Zhan Xin Fu, its ending soon and yes one more show down which I’m so excited for the ending which I think it will be another happy ending.

So weird sitting beside da jie at such a late night, usually she will use com in her room and now beside me. But I guess after the show I will fall asleep soon le.

Oh ya tml kbox cancel, quite of sad as I’ve always like to sing but I guess after Taiwan lots of things have change so… maybe movie with sister? I don’t know and don’t think so ba. Should do my IIP report soon I guess cause the date due is this Friday. Jia you then :)

Today was quite a busy day for me, I felt good that I’m not slacking at home and don’t know what I should do.

Today work up at 10 plus to start preparing woke up in total blank of what I should wear as there are both house visit and 21st birthday to go. After a while finally decided and all the preparation still exceed my predicted time and again I was late. But this time the people I meet (Fang. Zhen. Joan and friends) were later.

Meet Joan and was led blurly to her house as she says right and turn left?? Went her house and help in cooking and after eating went off to meet GH and JS at pasir ris before going to the chalet.

Help up in quite a lot of stuff and met quite a few friends that I know last time, from my friend boyfriends, NPCC area 7 CI to national Alpha campus. Quite nice to see them but too bad my memory is bad and so I only can remember faces.

Some parts was quite boring as nothing much to do other then eat and yes I’m happy that fang didn’t come if not she will be sabo big time because of the nice nice video that JS, Sandy and GH make. But sad that she is not here to pei me cause when I’m bored I don’t have here.

Today also finally see some of ZP gal and and nel GF, pretty cool as they are the ones that are always mention but never see in person before.

Everything ended quite good and thanks GH for sending me home again. Just that meidan was not here if not we will be in 7s and it is like 7s in 5years ago place and current location.

Okay I’m freaking tired and falling asleep infront of the com soon and so I better get some rest before waking up to prepare for later on visiting to my house. Good night and Happy Birthday to ZP!!!

It’s been awhile since I properly manage this blog.

In Taiwan life had been very tiring and there is like too much things to do (including personal stuff) that make me don’t feel like updating at all.

Now that I’m back to Singapore I think the same excesses will continue but I really hope I can put in the effort. But for me effort seems to always be the problem, it is always too much or too little issues. Time to review and reflect about myself I guess. Also I should think properly about what I want in the future or even what I want now?

This year is the year of 21 for me and a lot of my friends. Seeing some of them having parties and BBQ making me think about mine 21st, where, what? Why? Who? How? Curious, but I know it should be round my BMT time :(

Recently just went for my suppose to be first day of army, but it ended up to be a fake notice which is cause by some communication problem. But it’s okay because at least I still did something useful other than wasting my time there waiting. I went for my interview and I got to know which path I will be taking (although I still don’t quite get what the path is like).

Today was quite a wasteful day for me as I was typically just slacking around the house. I kind of hate this as I did nothing useful and make me such a useless person. But the day has past so let’s not think about it.

Tomorrow /later on will be going to meet my darlings to go to Joan house, I guess I will be more excited to meet my darlings then going to her house. But it’s okay because I know I will get to see quite a few old time friends down there.

Okay shall not talk so much as I also quite lazy to type words… Good Night Bloggie, hope you like the new skin :)

Yest I just met up with my pri sch friend that I’ve not seen for 8 to 9 years, I think its just so amazing how things can happen as it is because of a random post of our class photo that let us get back into touch…

Looking back at life of mine I think its really have not been easy, not easy as a PE captain, NE representative, monitor/head, unit admin, CI, ALPS & AR member, synergy president, best friend/darling, friends, GF, youngest sister/daughter and etc…

I guess as someone that do lots of SK, I’m one of the better ones but talking abt living in this world I guess I can be seen ranking from the bottom ba…

I’ve just came across a post which I should have seen last week and what is mention was right… effort = 0??? I couldn’t see it too…

Fuck up, I really dun noe how I should continue but I guess that’s the end…. Shan’t write any more…

20th Oct 2009
Today we all woke up at ard 7plus by the noise outside our room which was make by the forever uncle clyde...haha it was not the time we estimated to wake up but we woke up... quite tired as i din really sleep well yest nite... but still quite alright i guess cause at least i slept...
Wash up and get change and off we go to have our breakfast at 7-11... today is the 1st time we eat breakfast at there so still quite alright... I had a fan tuan and it was quite nice...after some eating and chatting we went to the office and off we go for the 1st day work 
We actually did nothing much today as most of the time is talking and asking question except for the morning when we have a round of introduction and later on we also went to their challenge course and campsite to take a look...it was so dame high...compare to ALC its really different... not really in the activities but the height... we were imagining that it will be dame scary to stand on the pamper pole and giant swing...
So back to the office we had lunch which just look like mini buffet with mix veg rice dishes and so the food is all acceptable by us... same same la..haha after that we had more information of OBT and their activities and some of our job scope (even thought till now we still dun noe what we will be doing). Everything is still quite raw and so we only chat with some ppl more and some less...hopefully we will be some help as now there is nth much we can do but to listen and absorb as much as possible...
Today we got to noe a bad and good news from OBT itself which is breakfast and dinner is on our own when what was told to us is that all three meals is by them... some aids is the good news and also the solution which is we will e receiving some allowance from them every month and some places that sell food ard our office we can have offer price... i guess that is helpful enough as there is nth much we can do also...
We also had our own desk and so after moving our stuff we went off work at ard 4 (when the work log sheet wrote 530pm...haha we first went to try find the super market that da mao told us but we can’t so we went back hostel and get change and put down stuff and off we go to 7-11 to have our 2nd day dinner... mindset will be same dinner for everyday will die???haha
Went online to call mum and JJ for a while and off we go to some town area by walking a 15min walk from hostel to the bus stop.. have a nice chat with the sausage seller and board the bus and went off... some interesting happen but i’m tired already so lights out for me le...
Oh ya... i ate ji pa already.... so different..haha





19th Oct 2009 – 0033hrs (201009)
Today I woke up at 7plus and start doing my work. Mind was thinking ‘oh shit, today flying off but i still have so many undone things’. So with that i start to pack and also online to chat and do some work esp abt doal shirt where i have to pass it to azim to take over...
Then at ard 10 plus my family (except father who is already at work) woke up and started to prepare to go over to the airport with me... when they are almost done I’m still packing and not even change and shower so at this point its kan chiong and lost... mind was thinking ‘what did i not bring, what did i bring extra’...
Went out with hse with one big bad and one smaller bag and a pouch... look quite alot huh...took a cab and reach the airport quite fast... saw khai and later on james, suat ting, clyde, nisa, azim, denial and more family and friends from the four of us...after bobby reach we check in and i still blur thinking that we need to wait for khai mun to get some passes or what...
Mine and Clyde bag weight 18kg plus and ting and bobby is lighter by a few kg... wow quite a big different huh...haha after that went to eat and KM came then follows by fang and bro... Had a chat all ard almost everywhere and everything seem to be quite rush as time is running...
After that was going in soon and before going in we still make a joke which is going in the wrong gate and the correct gate is just beside...haha had good bye with JJ for very shirt while then left to say bye and take photos... i guess this part is the sad part as some cry and it just make me sad and thinking if we are really leaving till next year then be back... i miss my family seriously.. The lively crazy freak...and i miss all my friends who always supported me in all ways...
After we went in it was quite a straight walk to our belt and when checking hand baggage ting scissors kana confiscated... went up the plane and ting bobby and Clyde is sitting one side and I’m another side with 2 empty seats beside and once we confirm no body sitting Clyde join me in the bigger space... bye bye... we are really flying off already...
On plane we eat, talk, take photos, drink, read, listen to music and of course sleep... and after 4hours and 25min plane we finally reach tao yuan airport and funny things is that because we din fill in where we stay so there is a small problem at the counter in the end the part was fill with tao yuan hotel..haha
Went out and collect our check in baggage and off we go to find ppl holding on to OBT republic poly... a taxi driver name Mr Ong fetch us and drove us to where we staying... oh ya by this time prepaid card is brought under my name as I’m the only 20 year old (their legal age)...
On the car we were chatting and talking abt all sorts of things esp bobby who are more interested in boobs and butts...haha we also talk to Mr Ong and ask quite a number of question.... after 35min we reach and at the counter Ben came and fetch us and we went to the office to take a tour and at this time bobby found that his phone when missing and till now still couldn’t find...
We had dinner from the 7-11 store some bento set and drinks and eat at their office before they take us to where we stay... very quickly we finish our food and started walking to where we gg to stay... quite a long short walk with my biggest bag on my shoulder supported by my hand as its inside the big duffle bag and i din take out to carry on both shoulder... luckily i manage to carry all the way... it was tiring and heavy....
Reach the place it was not as good as we were expecting but still overall everything still quite fine and we girls are on 2nd storey while the guys are 3rd storey... had music unpacking shower chit chat and etc and finally it’s time for bed... tml we will be reporting slightly later than others at 0900hrs and waking up at 7 plus... good nite all my love ones...

I guess Taiwan trip is confirmed already? 19th October, the wah so fast feeling is not that much anymore ba cause we suppose to be there long long time before today... but good and bad staying in Singapore while waiting for all admin to be settle ba...

Now the next big problem is the camp ba... I know that our flight is just 3days after the camp but still the urge to join is strong and i believe we can tahan it... not trying to be ‘I is strong’ but just wish that the DOALs can have a camp tgt and that is another memories to be created... Mt K is already a sad thing because we just miss it out due to.... hmm hmm hmm... then now the camp? I can’t really decide now actually... part of me wanted so much to go for the camp and enjoy as much, part of me want to stay at home and conquer the whole hse with only me at home for the whole week... I guess more thinking come in ba...

Next sad thing is SAFRA adventure race 2010... it so going to be my last youth race as i will be 21st soon... but guess what... I wun be able to make it as I will only be back on jan 25th and the race is 24th... is really sad cause tot that i will be really just in time with a week or 2 week rest and training before the race and now i’m so gg to completely miss it... isn’t it sad... I noe there is still more SAFRA adventure coming up but it’s the last youth and i still hoping that youth 1st still belong to SBSO Awesome Republic but i guess it’s gone ba...

I guess in life there is really alot of give and take ba... alot of experience that one can have but there are alot of things that we need to give up in order to achieve...I wish to I wish to... there are so many I wish to but how many i can put a nice full stop I also dun noe... Whatever is it a Jia you ba...

PEAKS course was rather meaningful ESP LengEr part where alot of interesting ideas and question were use to explain every parts of the test... I guess people are just so smart to create this kind of few hundred questions to understand ourselves... JJ you should try the test cause there got a career area where will state what aspect you are suitable to be in but too bad you not RP students if not you can log in and do...haha

After the course was briefing about this coming sat event and also OBT and OBHK explaining session... and of course lunch together with Taiwan ppl... of course our main topic is Taiwan attachment and also the pre IIP camp... surprising that I’m having lunch in RP... but tot that i will not have much chance to eat E1 western food soon so I eat lor..haha

Currently in my secret nice quite cosy place in RP library again with ST at my back and Clyde beside ST... Waiting for AR training to start and so we are waiting... but still alright lappy is here means will have things to entertaining ourselves...

Quad is coming but i have not skate much... die die... I guess i really need to go skate to get use of some distance 1st ba... hopefully i dun drag the whole team down too far ba...

That’s all for now first de...

(601 words)

Okay, finally starting to blog already cause I finally modify finish this new skin...

Currently in school and have been:
- Updating the DOAL shirt list because more changes and updating came today
- Modifying the new blog skin that i just change (as usual i will modify till my liking or tired)
- Chatting on MSN as people are chatting with me and entertaining each others
- Chatting with Azim (who is still beside me), Clyde (who just left cause he finally think he is bored after gaying alot with Azim), Nisa and Ting Ting (left quite awhile already)
- Checking mails for updates of RP news and DOAL shirt

Actually i wanted to blog a few days back when I’m looking at my calendar and found this few dates:
- 7 September 2009
- 14 September 2009
- 28 September 2009
These dates is a roller coaster feelings dates... those who know are smart, those who dun noe its okay as it is not important anymore...haha

Oh ya...using my new mouse already... haha so far not that bad i think..haha

Today briefing cum meeting is mainly telling us abt the camp so that we can be preparing for it. So this means that we have some homework to do before next week come... have always tot that it will be quite sad cause we (Taiwan ppl) will be leaving earlier and wun be able to attend this camp but look like nth to be sad cause we are still attending this camp... half half looking forward ba...

Now blog till here 1st ba... gg for training soon...finally can motivate myself to train le...

Seems like things are not going very well actually... family, Taiwan and more...

Daddy body is aching again... yest help him with some massage and think that seriously he is getting older and same problem is coming back... it’s been long since I help daddy in the massage and its really tiring but looking at the way he walk and talk worried us... he is always fun loving and naggy dad that is acting crazy with us... always will be...hope the aching go away soon...
Today er jie did the massage... it was quite long (I think)... I was helping mum in the sticking of some papers by very bo liao designer... but it’s a home extras so just do lor... sometimes also dun want to see parents work till so late and so hard while sometimes just tired to help.. But whatever it is... help as much as possible ba....

Taiwan attachment postpone again... I guess is not sad but Sian ba... dun wan to say anything much but hopefully we can at least noe a date so that we can plan things as hoping one day after another is hard... nvm,....

Another thing I would say is abt the DOAL shirt... wat a failure sia... thinking that things can be settle long time ago but now it’s not... how long more will it drag? I really dun noe...

This few weeks has been rather happy a.. ppl ard me like family friends special ppl new friends old darling and friends are always ard and meeting cause of the always farewell or last dinner b4 departure... I can say I’m leading quite a free (but not that) life with no sch work, outside work that tie me down...I guess everything also will have a time to put down and not turning up for too many event can be good ba.... but I m really worry but there is nobody that is indispensable in this world so it’s time to let go...

Event like quad and some famous runs and even ALPS or DOAL or AR trips are coming but yet there is nth I can do as I won’t be able to join any at all.... but I guess some times in order to gain sth you have to let go of sth...

Okay now is already am already i think I better go have my slp already... tml will be a long day too... TC... oh ya yest climb and today row is wonderful but there is so little we can do which is quite sad and I dun noe when is the next time I’m able to enjoy as much again....

Okay complains are coming in already so I will really blog now...haha

Currently is half watch a HK show DVD and blogging so I guess this entry will take quite a while to finish cause the concentration is all on DVD more...haha

This few weeks is not say very busy but every day is a sure got things to do but I guess that is not so good as flight is almost confirm and still things are not settle... especially school stuff... I guess is not dun wan to put down but it’s can’t for now ba... but soon....

I guess flight should be confirm already ba...28th sept 2009 to 4th Jan 2010, it’s really a 16 week long IIP... with the thought that IIP will end in dec, I really think we will have a much shorter IIP but still the same...
Leaving Singapore for so long is not really a good things especially leaving family and all people around...

This few days I have try to pei whoever I should be with and go out with friends whenever I can...I have very happy time seriously.. It’s good... going places that I have never been, sitting bus ride, eating and drinking and etc...
For family side it’s the same... especially when da jie is around and not flying... the whole family will be tgt where dad will nag mum will laugh and being laugh and both sister will be ‘shouting around’, playing around... I guess I will have to give that a miss for quite awhile le ba... plus I’m so gg to miss the Dubai and Egypt trip that my family is gg but without me...sobs sobs...

A few more days to departure already... I will miss a lot of things but I believe attachment will be really a good experience and I’m really looking forward to it as there should have more then what we can think of to learn...

Miss Miss... shall start blogging now 1st... Sleeping soon already... good nite and morning...

Have been rather busy and lazy about doing things and yet everyday is so.... hmmm... i guess got to plan more...

because fail to plan plan to fail... as usual...

i just hope i can enjoy every moment before i miss everything for around 4 month....

Tuesday:
What a long long long day again…today is darling fang bdae….. HAPPY 20th BDAE!!!!
Woke up in the morning and went straight to hougang to get some stuff for baking and the picnic later on… today time is tight as I might go down to NP to fetch darling (but I din)… went back home and took around 2 hours to prepare everything when I actually only plan 1 hour… poor planning… but luckily the result for both the cake and sandwich is not that bad…

its written: HAPPY BDAE CLAUDIA MA HUIFANG


Because the time is already running late and so I din make it to NP so I meet them straight at marina bay… back to barrage and at the same area… its sunny and windy and hungry…haha settle down and started chatting and eating… I would say although we saw lots of weird ppl but still it’s a nice place to chat… but nite time still the best I guess…haha

Left the place with some funny jokes and off we go to orchard to shop around then off to k-box at around 7 plus… zhen din join is so she went off first… around 10 hours was spend inside k box with just me and fang… sound so crazy and yes it is the first long hours k for both of us… sleepy hungry and soreness..haha

More photos when darling fang decided not to be lazy…haha

Wednesday:
FYP DAY!!!!!!!! OMG, finally its here, a formal and serious day… abit of rush here and there a bit of confusion and a lot of nervousness and now its finally over… details shall not be posted as its all over… no more FYP no more cock session… haha

Thursday:
Finally have a morning to pack… my junk corners at home is really messy… have been out quite often and things have been so pile up… clothes is finally wash and hang… place is finally a bit neater… hopefully before I leave for Taiwan I can done almost all my clearing…
Went out so late and long waiting is cause… so sorry about it but finally you saw the real me who is always late…haha JKJK… went to eat and off to town to shop… bus ride has always been good if you got good company…
Went back to school for training and ice and water is the answer… but in the end the game was not play but basketball was… din want to play basketball as I m kind of sucks at it so went for a run with kai… was chatting and so mainly on Sunday half marathon… so scare that I can’t complete… but hopefully I can ba…

Friday:
Today was at home packing… another big messy place is clear up… all my clothes now nice nice inside already… cool… and finally clear some emails and send continue on the DOAL tee again… now I just going to pray that the shirt will be just in time…

Was told that I seem busy… hmmm I guess so… but I really have been slacking a lot on work that there are still things that are not settled…. But luckily now only left with UT3 and 2 more lessons before school break starts… let’s hope everything goes smooth ba…

Zhen xi shen xia de shi jian… jia you….

Thought abt it… I guess its okay like that ba…

WARNING: this is a super long post!!!

was about to post on last last Sunday but haven type finish so it drag to Monday… then when Monday going to finish already power went off without batt so everything gone… so I will see if I can post successfully today then..Haha (actually it’s been very long since I wanted to blog already)

It’s quite a long long long week’s day and end so this post should be quite long ba…haha…

Friday:
After CCM lesson (which I don’t really want to comment on lesson here) had synergy meeting…everything seems to go well in the whole IG where new member are all good to continue in helping the IG… stepping down was mention not by me but surprisingly by Glen… It’s good as what ting ting told me about stepping down and of course I’m thinking too…

Meeting end early and so going down bliss was not that rush… but when I reach home bad news came… dad told me about the bike and I guess its not suitable to cycle anymore so have to rush RJ and so then off I went take bus then walk to bliss… I reached quite fast so was talking to some who were already behind bliss… so we chat touch my head and etc… bliss was overall not that bad today other then naren case…

Went back with Xian and naren and the intension of sending me home is stop by me as I think I can walk home myself so naren send xian home and I went walking alone… this is good as things going round me require some quiet thinking time which I already am always thinking…

Saturday:
Reach home wash up pack up and online… by the time I’m done it’s almost time to move out of house so I only can rest on bus then…overslept for a stop and so was a bit late (5min) when I reach jetty… no one was there and no one pick up my call or reply my msg… that’s weird as I don’t know what else can be done… but luckily Jason called and so I follow the FI in… it was weird but what to do… after reaching campsite it become worst when no one around too… went chance, walk, found then duty… area 3… my NPAP area and saw a few familiar cadet… went kayaking and kana scolded crazy cause I was using a doubles and doing Sudoku… nothing wrong actually cause life saving duty is not that ….hmmm…. after that stay with the rafting grp for 2nd cycle and was told that after that we are off… tot it would be till like evening… went out and took bus tgt and went over to city hall… and went preview…

Its been long since I watch NDP even it is just preview…. Had fun singing along and doing all the things and of course the parade where someone seems not so interested about… haha JKJK… sit there for quite long for the crowd to be gone but got good company so quite alright la…haha

A random thought from someone to eat sakae supper buffet so we did but its seem that I ate more then someone who suppose to eat more… was quite full after that so we tried to go for the last train but no more so we went to take bus… spend quite a long time deciding where to go and etc before gg over to JE mac and ton there…

Sunday:
What a long day today especially the gg home part in the early morning after a breakfast at a nice dim sim shop just pity that the porridge wasn’t ready;( the bus ride home was super munkok… dun wan to talk abt it anymore…
After reach home charge phone den quickly went out to meet naren xian and rena for escape le… seems like the game inside is still the same but I guess its quite new to the rest so we played and played… oh yea… we had ice cream and ji pa (chicken) as lunch… after that finally home to rest…

Monday:
A day of normal school and technical training by ah bang david, abseiling is always nice to me so of course the first volunteer to start off is me… nv abseiling from the rock wall side before so was rather excited… had some fun and learn some things or rather practice some skill so still not that bad…

Tuesday:
Another normal Sian class of elective class… next lesson is planned, no one is coming… good... cause no one interested in the project…
Had AR training with some alps people and also the kayaking gang… not that bad as it was a new game type of training where we run on track… and I guess we found someone that runs fast… real fast.. hidden talent wor… after AR training continue to have a short run with alson on the track… some extra training huh…

Wednesday:
No sch but still in sch…. IIP meeting, place and date is make know... truthfully I think shouldn’t had though abt that first but yes that is the first thing I through about… actually it was quite a few things on mind including 99.9%... quite shock ba… after that ran off to bliss thought that I will be later but apparently I was earlier compare to the late time that I stated…

Thursday:
Went k box with sis, mum and sis bf tag along… quite long din get in touch with Chinese songs and so almost all I can listen but not goes along… hopefully next Tuesday wun be like that too…
After that went off to lavender to make my passport some up and downs and the lonely waiting time making me dosing off… luckily still in time and effort not wasted.. Now only can pray that things will go well when the time is up…
Still had time but phone went dead but still I try my best to help coordinate the collection of star 2 certs and I did after much effort but sometimes I wonder if I should but wat done is done so what to do… din really had a good trip so dun wan to recall anymore…

Friday:
CCM lesson in class… Sian dun like classes to be in class when outdoor can be us but what to do... stay in class and do some program stuff… I guess next lesson will be fun ba… lesson ended early (rare case)
Rush home after lesson so that I can rest but nv really rest but watch tv so yup... after that went to bliss… just when I tot the day gg to end off like that, I have a visitor… haha went home and change and supper at mac and back home again… its just amazing how things work (I mean bike) haha

Saturday:
Reach home and do everything and wait a while more and fall aslp finally… dame tired already so slp was of course good… no much plan other then meeting alson and kai to collect safra half race pack so decided to date parents to town and so I went down to town after the collection…
Went fish and co at glass house to eat... I reached quite early so I decided to wait inside… not that bad sitting inside so did some of my stuff while waiting…had quite a full dinner and a bit of shopping and off we go back home…

Sunday:
Initially was thinking if I should go for the climb and later on decided to go… so off I went to climb Asia with Mel and James and YANNI, Alex join later and Gerri last to join… its been long since I last climb so I guess it was not that bad… route are harder compare to RP one (I think) had 6 blister in total at the end of my climb…
Went off earlier as I need to reach vivo at 5pm… was slightly earlier so ice cream treat is on…haha went around to look for nice stuff but nth much was found so its rather sad…
After dinner and ice cream we went off to barrage… walking there is rather long and hot but what to do when a bus will take longer then walking and shuttle bus only stop at the start and the end…
Barrage was really a nice place... kind of love it as it was cooling and quite quiet (although there are still lots of people around)…. But I guess what was scarily the whole nite was the sudden spraying of water and the very light pink sky and the crazy wind… other then that everything was good I guess, shall not say the details…

Monday:
After the night we went for a breakfast and off we went home… had a short nap/sleep and wake up for breakfast with my parents then slack all day till now…
Just handed up my poster not long… I just hope everything will be alright including the presentation on coming wed… sound scarily huh…
Haiz… I dun noe what I have done for the whole day man… tml will surly be a big rush when nothing is done today... Hopefully everything will be good ba… barrage and k box tml….
There seems to be quite a lot of stuff to be worry about now…. I just hope every thing goes well ba…

Okay now even more sian le… rp pool is not open till 4.30… so wat?? I can’t swim till then????? Sad sad sad…. I guess I only can swim after training then… but hopefully everything will end before 8pm so that I got enough time home for the 9pm….haha

Oh ya just now forget to mention one thing… my lappy really cui on me le… now the batt can’t really use le… it will only last for minutes le so die le lor… dun wan to say le…just tot that I can go for a lonely slow run??hmmm yea… maybe I should..

Its been a while since I blog… currently in school… going for a long swim soon (I think) and its freaking cold over at lib here even with my jacket on…

Finally settle some emails regarding tml synergy meeting (agenda is done too) and also the DOAL shirt… hope the shirt will go smoothly ba… but apparently it doesn’t seems so…haiz

Been through quite some stuff since the last entry ba…. From short hair to shortest hair…. From nothing done on FYP report to report submitted… from confirm to not confirm… from unclear to clear….from more to more…. From round to rounded

Have been bald for one full week already….. lots of comment here and there… I guess in the end I still cares lots but I guess I did sth that is good… had been quite shy walking ard so bare but still I did it… is just that I haven got to meet some outside which I guess will be more shy ba…

FYP has been so far a torture but is also because of myself so can’t blame… but now that report is done… what’s left is poster and Q&A so I guess is still alright ba… finally can put down the biggest stressfully thing…

Some things have been so unstable even from the start of the plan and so I’m not that surprise when things are about to change and I expected it but I really don’t know it will really come true…. 99.9%... at first I still can’t really accept but now I totally accept le… so it’s just timing le ba…

Now that things have been sorted out it can be counted as good? bad? I don’t know but one thing for sure is that when it is clear things will change… maybe for the better…

Okay so now I guess all the race is confirm le ba cause registration is done but m quite worry for quad as I might be off early… but back up plan done so no worries… the rest of the run should be quite alright ba… yellow ribbon, safra half, L&P…. way to go….

I guess I have really not been working out that much huh… have become so much rounded esp when my head is so round…haiz…. Die die die… so fat… minus mark….. work up more and so I’m gg for a long swim like soon… in 10min time… an hour plus swim before AR training start ba… yup yup.. og ya muscle pain sia… from Tuesday strength trainin… bad bad… oh ya action asia were mention… but how to go when things are so not firm?????

Things just not going the rite way as it suppose ba…. so so so bad...

alright i know what will the comment for this post be... muz be positive and etc ba... lalaalal GTG bb....

Currently in school, again in the small corner of RP lib… guess is the best spot so far in RP other den a room… just that sometimes piano sound will be quite loud when beginner starts to play…haha

Went for breakfast at town this morning… I guess it is my first time having mac breakfast in town… and someone actually snatch MY sugar from me… okay, so wats wrong with putting 6 pack sugar for tea????hmmm maybe there is a problem but still mac tea really taste better with 6 pack sugar and taste bad with 1 pack sugar and 3 pack coffee mix… oh ya, I had ice cream…. Yea is ice cream although it’s raining I’m coughing and it’s in the morning…haha

went to have a short walk at central point and its was rather big but empty… saw Via Ferrata Singapore for the first time and I guess it will be quite cool to at least climb once…. I WANT TO CLIMB!!!! Was treated as small girl and foreigner and was angry la… causes someone sound as thought I really dun noe how to go everywhere even the toilet… ren xiao zhi qi da okay….

Okay that’s my morning and I guess its time that I should leave the earth and go to hell now for my project…haha

Oh ya before leaving blogger lets post a photo of what I have receive yest… I think its dame cool cause I’m invited but will be going to see Mr President with my bald head...haha

Today was another ___ day…

Went school to meet tham for FYP and was nearly late cause the bus ran off in front of me… dame angry and fire burning inside me… guess wat, the next bus spend another 20min to come and this make fire grow but soon it went down cause times passes…

FYP meeting start with all the DSLM gals and only 2 DOAL gals… the rest…. Hmmm no comment….after the meeting I went off to the lib the same small corner to try to work on the project but was just very distracted by almost everything and in the end only little was done…

Went for HFH briefing and only 5 pool soul was present… the briefing was all about the cancer foundation and etc nth much and was quite boring but hau teck was full of energy while toking to all the ‘cows’…. It’s coming… HFH is really coming in less than 30 hour I think… a lot of comment heard but whats now… its already decided so I can’t just turn my back and walk off… be brave even things are gg to be lost…

After the briefing went for revision classes for outdoor leadership module…. Was not that bad as I get to have clearer view but I simply dun like UT cause I can’t really score well…haiz and OL class now a days is really…. Haiz * 1000000000…. Same view with qiao yi abt the class.. but wat to do… is already out last sem with module so just endure the class ba….

After that went interchange with Ting Ting, Nisa and dear…. Wat a combination man… and its been like super long since I went back with someone… but guess what… everything just changed as fast as spilt sec…. I miss the good old time but too back it will nv be back….

FYP is KILLING….. I hope the mood of lit review times can come back… now seriously I find it hard to concentrate and the submission date is like dame close but where am i? I can’t even see the ending line… wanted to put down things like synergy post but I can’t at this moment… IGs already are cutting down but yet it is not efficient… the only word heard was jia you but I guess in the end it all depend on me myself and I ba…

Jess Ong.
22.
3rd June 1989.
Black and Purple.